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1. Space Quest 2: "Life sucks...
...when you're a janitor." on Labion."
...and then you die. Horribly."

2. Space Quest 4: "It's you--Roger Wilco...

...Space Guy."
...Intergalactic Hero."
...Savior of Xenon."
...Sanitation Engineer Extraordinaire."

3. Space Quest 6: "Oh, yeah, real smart. Let's go poking around inside a pod that's probably carrying a half-dozen miniature face-hugging, saliva-dripping, face-eating exo-skeletal alien piranha things. And while we're at it...

...let's ask ourselves--whatever happened to your little buddy Spike?"
...let's invite them aboard the Deepship to kill the entire crew one by one."
...let's read a short passage from the Necronomicon."
...let's split up so that we're all alone and defenseless, okay?"

4. Space Quest 1 VGA: "The odor coming from your person...
...makes you regret skipping last month's shower." not unlike that of a Denebian Slime Devil." enough to keep the local fauna at bay. And maybe some of the flora, too." truly regrettable. So regrettable, in fact, that we regret even including a SMELL icon in the first place."

5. Space Quest 3: "You get the ladder and put it in your pocket...
...You must have plenty of spare room in your pants."
...Don't try this at home, kids!"
...Did you ever even stop to think that it might belong to somebody?"

6. Space Quest 6: "That's not recommended. That'll either get you an appendaged removed...
...or an organ liberated."
...or a date you don't really want."
...or an annoying recurring rash."
...or a demotion back to Janitor Third Class."

7. Space Quest 4: "Take it from someone who knows sick: licking corpses is...
...going waaaay beyond demented."
...all fun and games until somebody gets hurt."
...won't make you very popular with the ladies."
...really more of a Sector R12 kind of thing."

8. Space Quest 6 Demo: "This is the Shuttle cockpit. In the real game...
...there will be lots of interesting stuff to do here. Right now, however, I've got bigger fish to fry."
...I will sit here. I will be smart. I will make it go. I will make things work."
...sitting down at the controls will launch you into an immersive first-person, 3D deep space flight simulator. For now, though, you'll just have to use your imagination."
...I'll have a co-pilot and everything. For the time being, though, it's just more eye candy for you to look at. Pretty impressive, huh? Buy the game, kids!"

9. Space Quest 4: "Go ahead, take a good ol' lick o'mustard...'ll be sorry."
...I'm spicy!"
...I'm tastier than mayonaise!"
...Or don't. I don't really care."
10. Space Quest 2: "The guard appears to be less thick than you remember him...
...Which is a good thing considering that his uniform didn't fit all that well in the first place."
...That crash obviously took a lot out of him. Get it?"
...Either he's on a serious diet, or something very strange is going on around here."
...Many of his formerly contained body fluids seem to be at large."

Comments, questions, suggestions...

Roger Wilco and related materials are © Sierra On-Line.
Space Quest is a registered trademark of the Children's Museum of Indianapolis.
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